to dating. The trick to dating is to NEVER tell the truth. Now once
you are in a steady relationship the rules change, but as for
dating.. telling the truth will only send the other person packing.
I also don't mean to imply that it is a good idea to tell your date
that you've climbed Mt. Everest twice, or that you are an ex Navy
SEAL. These are factual lies. Validate-able, capable of being
referenced and proven in a court of law.. or a court of your peers.
These are NOT the lies to tell.
The lies I am suggesting are those of emotion. It is of the utmost
importance to NOT seem overly interested in the person you are dating
(even if you are). The truth of life is simple: People want what
they can't have. People desire challenges and whether it is notches
in a belt or on a bedpost, mentally everyone feels accomplished when
they get a date with someone of equal or higher rank on the invisible yet
ever present 'ladder'. What is this ladder i speak of? Well it is
the ladder of social hierarchy of course. It exists whether you like
to admit it or not, and everyone as a general sense as to where they,
and others, are standing on it. The way in which we act, more than
anything, defines where we stand on that ladder. The key to flirting
and dating is to, ever so humbly and kindly, yet distinctly act as
though you reside on a higher rung then then your opponent (your
date). This keeps the game going and the coveting elevated. If
any one side makes themselves TOO available or interested, the game is
no longer any fun. Furthermore, such openness and vulnerability
silently affirms that the other person is of higher standing and
subsequently that you are at a lower standing which equals less
desirable.
There are other lies that are necessary too, including any and all
questions about ex-girlfriends/boyfriends. A topic for another
discussion. However, a veteran of game will be smart enough NOT to
ask about ex's. Nothing good can ever come from this, and anything
pertinent will be offered up by the other party.
It's a strange game (dating), one as complicated and strategic as chess. And like chess, it is something you get better at the more you play. It fascinates me because it is more of an intuitive game than a purely logical one.
